Design is about developing with a goal in mind, but how often do we think about humans when we are programming? I’m not talking about people as ‘users’ of one sort or another, but real human beings with feelings, dreams, and fears. As a developer, I like to think that I’m able to empathize with my users, but, as a UX guy, I know that I am fallible.
What is something that challenges you to the point of being afraid? That’s where you will find the things that will make you stand out.
A good icebreaker would be to share your flaws with another person. What is something that you don’t like about yourself?
Surprisingly, it starts a very deep and personal conversation that is also very relatable. Everybody has something that they are not sure about.
In a way, everybody is like you.
Everybody wants to be liked. We all want to be the coolest, smartest, funniest person in the room. It’s evolutionary; group acceptance allowed us create stable societies.
As you open yourself to others, they are opening themselves up to you. As much as you want others to like you, they want you to like them.
Two Types of communicators
According to Sharon Steed, communicators can be categorized into these polar groups:
- Intelligent informers
- Social relators
The intelligent informer is the person who attempts to impress you with their experience. This form of communication is very self-centered and can backfire because it doesn’t value the person on the receiving end of the message.
On the other side we have the social relator. This is the person who tries to understand and listens to other people in order to better connect with them. This form of communication is more about listening than talking. But it’s not just charm; it has to do with comprehending nonverbal signals and replying appropriately, also known as empathy.
Relationships over tools
With technology, we should be able to facilitate relationships better; or at the very least not impede our natural ability to communicate with one another.
Communicate in a way that compels other to hang around and listen to us. Share ideas on how to do things. Tell stories that compel others to act. Expose vulnerabilities to build trust and respect. Help others with your knowledge.
Ultimately, the goal when communicating is for the other person to feel value. As long as that happens, it’s ok.